What's wrong with people!?!?

My husbands young cousin was killed very early this morning by her "Boyfriend". They had a fight, it turned violent and now she's gone. At 19.

I just do not understand people these days. :(

Ugh! It's so hard not to eat foods I love that could kill me!

We went to my husband's cousins house today for a family gathering. Her son had gotten married a few weeks back and it was a party in their honor. (BTW - she is super sweet!) I love all the food they had on the menu but didn't eat any of it. Rolled Taco's (most people call them taquitos), burritos, stuffed jalapeno's, chips, dip, etc. Well, I have been doing so well at keeping my blood sugar 'in control' that I just couldn't bring myself to eat any of it.

The family all talked about me. I know they did - I walked in the kitchen and they were talking about me. I'm sorry that their menu options were so unfriendly towards a diabetic. However, I'm not sorry that I stuck to my new way of eating and didn't give in (not even a single potato chip!).

I want to live a long life. I don't want to die at 55 like my mom did. I want people to accept that not everyone can pig out or even eat the same way as they do. For some of us, it really could be a matter of life and death. If I don't keep my diabetes in control, I will end up on insulin. I could have kidney and other failures.

I choose LIFE over food.

Pasta & blood sugar #'s

We had pasta last night. It was whole wheat pasta, but still. I made ground hamburger with some pasta sauce & the pasta in it. It's one of hubby's favorite meals. I haven't made it in months because of my blood sugar. Well, I ate a small serving (picked out half my pasta) and tested at the 1hr and 2 hr marks just to see where my #'s were going to be. 1 hour after eating I was at 113. 2 hours after eating I was at 111. This morning I'm at 93. I guess those are acceptable! I think those are way lower than the #'s I'd been having in the past that caused my A1C to be so high. So even if I'm not dropping the pounds, I *am* lowering my blood sugar.

As of this morning, I am officially down 5.4 lbs. Not a lot, but it's less than I weighed this time last month.

Today also marks the 21st anniversary of when my grandfather passed away. "Pop Pop" wasn't perfect, but he did the best he could. He had a disease - alcoholism. He struggled with it his entire life. It had a powerful hold on him, and is the cause of his death. I still think about my pop-pop often.

It's been awhile...

Sorry for the lack of updates. Life got in the way.

I haven't really lost any weight. But, I've kept my blood sugar #'s in what I think and hope is a good range. The highest it has been today is 113. That was 1 hr after dinner, which was whole wheat pasta with a meat sauce.

Overall, things are mostly going well.

Disappointment

I am disappointed. My relationship with my dad, I thought, was one where we could actually communicate and talk. Last night my brother called and said, "So what do you think of dad's latest bit of news?" I didn't know what he meant, so I asked him to explain. He told me that dad called him last Wednesday and told him, "I've sold the house, so am I able to move in with you?" We didn't know he had the house on the market. We didn't know he was considering putting the house on the market.

It's a sad thing that my childhood home is going to be sold to strangers. Sad but inevitable. It was going to happen some day... my brother has his own home and I have my own out here in Arizona. The thing that upsets and disappoints me is that... my dad didn't even mention it. And I talked to him on Monday!

I know it's got to be emotional for him... selling the home you've had for almost 35 years (April 1976 is when we moved in). But, hey... give us a little credit and consider that maybe we'd be a little moral support. We love him more than the dang house. I just wish we'd have had a little advance knowledge instead of, "house has been sold." And especially that my dad had been the one to tell me instead of letting me find out from my brother. Seriously, my dad has had Danny be the one to tell me every bit of bad news, from this to the phone call when mom died.

Ugh. Okay that's my rant for today... Happy Hump Day.

Musical memories

I've always been sort of taken with music. It really touches me on a deep level. Songs that reach my heart are the ones that stay with me for a lifetime.

In 1997, my ex-husband, David, and I had the privilege of seeing John Denver perform with the Houston Symphony Orchestra. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. He was so magical almost, the way he drew everyone in. Just a few short weeks later, he was gone.

I've been listening to some John Denver music tonight. I think my husband, Preston, thinks I have lost my mind. I'm in here singing away and crying. They're tears of sadness because John Denver is no longer here to make such beautiful music, but they're tears of joy because the music really is so beautiful.

So, that's my melancholy post for today... as I sit here listening to such wonderful music.

Superbowl Sunday - night

Welp, the Superbowl is over. Steelers lost, Packers won. I don't watch football, so I don't know the score. I just know that hubby was rooting for the Packers and was happy.

Had a terribly unproductive weekend. That's okay, I relaxed and fought my migraines off. Hopefully I can keep them at bay all week this week. I know my office is tired of me not being there, even though the days off are "approved" because of FML time.

Here's to a happy, healthy (hah!) week for everyone.

At a standstill but that is okay

I am on a support forum that has a daily weigh-in challenge... I decided I would do it this month to see what happens. I'm still down (what did I say, 3.2 lbs?) and nothing more for this week. I am okay with that. I don't want my weight to just melt off. I don't know how healthy that would be. I mean, I didn't gain it all in 3 months, why should I expect to lose it in 3 months, right?

On another note... our little dog is holding his own. I thought we were going to have to put him to sleep this week. He hasn't been able to walk since March 2010. We've carried him where he needed to go, and let him use puppy pee pads... and cleaned up when he couldn't make it to the puppy pads. We had decided that as long as his quality of life was good and he was happy, we would let things remain as they were. Last weekend must have been a not-good one for him. He didn't do his tail thump, or happy bark. And the light was not shining in his sweet eyes when he looked at us. All of those things have returned. I know the end is near, but I think we have a little more time. Oreo is the sweetest little boy. This photo is from February 2008 when he was pretty much at his healthiest point.

Must be doing something right...

I'm down 3.2 lbs for the week. Something must be working the way it's supposed to!
My BS #'s are decent too.  Go, go, go - new way of eating!

We had chinese food last night though. Instead of having an order each, we split one order between us.

I've also decided that as much as I love those burritos we used to get - I won't have another. Found out it's 105g carbs for ONE burrito. Holy cow. That's a lot! I mean, I could cut it in half and eat half... but that's just not any fun! lol

Carb Counting info

1 serving = 15 g carbs

1 snack = 1 serving (15 carbs)
1 meal = 3-4 servings (45-60 carbs)

I'm finding as long as I stay within their guidelines my #'s aren't bad.

For example, last night I had a wonderful sandwich (nature's own whole wheat sandwich round, ham, cheese, pickles a little mayo & mustard) a small cup of milk and a small bag of chips - the entire meal (which really was very filling!) was around 50 carbs when everything got added up. When I took my bs# reading this morning it was 100, which is pretty much where it should be from what I've read and been told. I could be wrong...

I loved the sandwich so much, I had it for breakfast this morning! (without the milk and chips)

Yummy sandwich fixin's

I love a good sandwich. Problem is, bread is SO high in carbs. All the bread I've seen lately looks like it's around 13g of carbs per slice, 26g for a sandwich. I found some Nature's Own Whole Wheat "Sandwich Rounds" that are only 20g carbs. They're pretty thin but have really good flavor.

I put a tiny bit of mayo and mustard on it, 2 slices of ham and 1 slice of cheese - then 2 sandwich sliced pickles (they're thin and 2 slices fit for 1 sandwich), plus a little lettuce. That was probably the best sandwich I've had in forever!

I'm deciding that a lot of the "healthier" items really do taste better.

BS today - 121 this morning and 105 tonight.
Hope I'm on the right road.

Blood sugar #'s are weird

I was bad and did not test my #'s before bed last night. We had a somewhat late dinner so I knew my #'s would be higher than I wanted.

At 1:30 am I got up to go to the restroom so I tested. It was 104. This morning at 4:45 it was 135.
We'll see how the rest of the day goes. Don't know why it'd be so much higher at 4:45 than 1:30.

I took my blood sugar reading when I got home from work and grocery shopping. 100 exactly.  I'll take it.

Newly Diagnosed Type 2 Diabetic

On January 2nd I went to the hospital ER with a terrible pain in my right side. For some reason, the thought of appendicitis kept going through my head. I spent hours in the ER and they ended up admitting me to the hospital with a severe kidney infection. I was there for 4 days, if you count the hours I spent in the ER. While I was there, they determined I am a diabetic.

I have been re-learning how to eat this last month. It's not real fun. I've had to give up one of my favorite things in the world - Coke! Most of you that know me, know that I grew up with Coke. Coke with my breakfast. Coke with my lunch. Coke with dinner. Coke really was IT. I'm learning to drink either unsweetened tea, or tea with sweet n low in it. I'm also learning to drink diet coke. It's not nearly as bad now as it was 3 weeks ago.

I've been testing my blood sugar 2x a day like I'm supposed to. I've started taking Metformin also. The dr. said although she thinks the diabetes will be controllable with diet and exercise, the Metformin may help me lose some weight. Woohoo if it does! That would be awesome.

While in the hospital, my A1C was 8.5 - really high. 2 weeks later it was 7.9. So it's already starting to come down a little. I know it's supposed to be in the 6.x range. My primary doctor said she'd be happy with 6.5 - we'll see what the endocrinologist says when I go see him. Maybe they'll actually agree on something.  Maybe I can surprise them and get it down lower.

We'll just have to see what happens.

Welcome to the world of T2 Diabetes. 2011 is off to a "roaring" start.