What's wrong with people!?!?

My husbands young cousin was killed very early this morning by her "Boyfriend". They had a fight, it turned violent and now she's gone. At 19.

I just do not understand people these days. :(

Ugh! It's so hard not to eat foods I love that could kill me!

We went to my husband's cousins house today for a family gathering. Her son had gotten married a few weeks back and it was a party in their honor. (BTW - she is super sweet!) I love all the food they had on the menu but didn't eat any of it. Rolled Taco's (most people call them taquitos), burritos, stuffed jalapeno's, chips, dip, etc. Well, I have been doing so well at keeping my blood sugar 'in control' that I just couldn't bring myself to eat any of it.

The family all talked about me. I know they did - I walked in the kitchen and they were talking about me. I'm sorry that their menu options were so unfriendly towards a diabetic. However, I'm not sorry that I stuck to my new way of eating and didn't give in (not even a single potato chip!).

I want to live a long life. I don't want to die at 55 like my mom did. I want people to accept that not everyone can pig out or even eat the same way as they do. For some of us, it really could be a matter of life and death. If I don't keep my diabetes in control, I will end up on insulin. I could have kidney and other failures.

I choose LIFE over food.

Pasta & blood sugar #'s

We had pasta last night. It was whole wheat pasta, but still. I made ground hamburger with some pasta sauce & the pasta in it. It's one of hubby's favorite meals. I haven't made it in months because of my blood sugar. Well, I ate a small serving (picked out half my pasta) and tested at the 1hr and 2 hr marks just to see where my #'s were going to be. 1 hour after eating I was at 113. 2 hours after eating I was at 111. This morning I'm at 93. I guess those are acceptable! I think those are way lower than the #'s I'd been having in the past that caused my A1C to be so high. So even if I'm not dropping the pounds, I *am* lowering my blood sugar.

As of this morning, I am officially down 5.4 lbs. Not a lot, but it's less than I weighed this time last month.

Today also marks the 21st anniversary of when my grandfather passed away. "Pop Pop" wasn't perfect, but he did the best he could. He had a disease - alcoholism. He struggled with it his entire life. It had a powerful hold on him, and is the cause of his death. I still think about my pop-pop often.

It's been awhile...

Sorry for the lack of updates. Life got in the way.

I haven't really lost any weight. But, I've kept my blood sugar #'s in what I think and hope is a good range. The highest it has been today is 113. That was 1 hr after dinner, which was whole wheat pasta with a meat sauce.

Overall, things are mostly going well.

Disappointment

I am disappointed. My relationship with my dad, I thought, was one where we could actually communicate and talk. Last night my brother called and said, "So what do you think of dad's latest bit of news?" I didn't know what he meant, so I asked him to explain. He told me that dad called him last Wednesday and told him, "I've sold the house, so am I able to move in with you?" We didn't know he had the house on the market. We didn't know he was considering putting the house on the market.

It's a sad thing that my childhood home is going to be sold to strangers. Sad but inevitable. It was going to happen some day... my brother has his own home and I have my own out here in Arizona. The thing that upsets and disappoints me is that... my dad didn't even mention it. And I talked to him on Monday!

I know it's got to be emotional for him... selling the home you've had for almost 35 years (April 1976 is when we moved in). But, hey... give us a little credit and consider that maybe we'd be a little moral support. We love him more than the dang house. I just wish we'd have had a little advance knowledge instead of, "house has been sold." And especially that my dad had been the one to tell me instead of letting me find out from my brother. Seriously, my dad has had Danny be the one to tell me every bit of bad news, from this to the phone call when mom died.

Ugh. Okay that's my rant for today... Happy Hump Day.

Musical memories

I've always been sort of taken with music. It really touches me on a deep level. Songs that reach my heart are the ones that stay with me for a lifetime.

In 1997, my ex-husband, David, and I had the privilege of seeing John Denver perform with the Houston Symphony Orchestra. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. He was so magical almost, the way he drew everyone in. Just a few short weeks later, he was gone.

I've been listening to some John Denver music tonight. I think my husband, Preston, thinks I have lost my mind. I'm in here singing away and crying. They're tears of sadness because John Denver is no longer here to make such beautiful music, but they're tears of joy because the music really is so beautiful.

So, that's my melancholy post for today... as I sit here listening to such wonderful music.

Superbowl Sunday - night

Welp, the Superbowl is over. Steelers lost, Packers won. I don't watch football, so I don't know the score. I just know that hubby was rooting for the Packers and was happy.

Had a terribly unproductive weekend. That's okay, I relaxed and fought my migraines off. Hopefully I can keep them at bay all week this week. I know my office is tired of me not being there, even though the days off are "approved" because of FML time.

Here's to a happy, healthy (hah!) week for everyone.